Finding your tribe - there is a lot of dating involved
Take your kids on a walk, find a playground, see another Mummy with her kids. Leave 45 mins later with her number on your phone, her entire family history, the name of her kid’s school, where she comes from and a promise to meet up again as quickly as in the next couple of days. This is a typical mum encounter but more so with expat parents. Living away from family and long term friends can be lonely and you have to brush any shyness away and put yourself out there.
In Abu Dhabi, I can truly say I had found my tribe. I had a full spectrum of friends; friends to go running with, to go on massive drunken late night outs, to catch up twice a week for coffee, to babysit for, to have weekend barbeques with and to drop one kid off with when I went into labour. I was lucky and I am eternally grateful for the beautiful friendships I formed in the my first 4 years of being an expat.
Although we are currently in the throes of lockdown in most parts of the world, I would love to share a few tips on how to put yourself out there as a new expat;
Join Expat Facebook groups. Most of the time, they have details on meet up events. These could be coffee mornings, golf sessions, hiking, dance classes, mummy and me groups, running clubs and even your occasional wine tastings
For those with kids take them to the playground, spot the mum whose vibes most appeal to you or who gives you outfit envy. Walk up to her, introduce yourself and have a chat. Hopefully you will leave with her number and a lifelong friendship will be formed
Don’t be afraid to move into a neighbourhood and take the lead with organising a group. When I moved into a much larger area in Abu Dhabi, I set up a Whatsapp group for mums in the area and by the time I left it had more than 150 members. The group started off by setting up monthly nights out and I left it when it had become a space to share information, seek advice as well as an opportunity for friendships to form
Don’t make any rush judgements about anyone when you first meet them. Some of my recent close friends are complete polar opposites to me. If you walked into a room, you probably wouldn’t think that we would be friends and beyond having similar circumstances in the same place and time, I have formed forever friendships
Set your husband up for friendship dates as well. If you know your spouses would get on, set up a bbq, brunch or family playdate. Friendships that span the kids, mums and parents are such a blessing.
I told you it’s like dating.
